The Completion of What You Wish For

I never met Paul Blacklow in the physical sense and more than a year had passed since his death when I answered an advertisement to work on his book. I believed I had much to offer: I was an experienced editor and journalist and, having nursed my father through terminal illness, I knew what an inspiring, enriching and loving experience it can be.
But as I began working through Paul’s chapters, transcribing his voice tapes and interviewing members of his family, friends and therapists, I came to see that the book had plenty to offer me.
When Paul contracted MND, he was a Kiwi bloke with a close bunch of mates, mad about sport and intent on building his career to support his family. The man who had won Player of the Year with nearly every rugby club for which he ever played faced the disease head-on. He opened his mind and soul to every possible strategy and gathered around him a team of therapists, family and friends to make them happen.
Through it all, he kept his feet on the ground, metaphorically speaking. Paul faced life, rather than death, and in doing so he found some simple answers to life’s big questions. It’s about the balance of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual; about the uninterrupted flow of energy through the body and universe; it’s about making choices. It’s about love.
Paul was diagnosed with MND within months of getting married. He and his wife Julianne had two children – the second conceived while Paul was on a ventilator. Paul raised money for his treatment, set up a support group, wrote most of this book and finally, peacefully, accepted death. That’s the physical story.
Then there is the mental story as Paul transferred his determination on the sports field to his treatment room at home; the emotional story, as this tough Kiwi bloke regularly shed tears and released past unhappiness; and the spiritual story, as he questioned his Catholic upbringing and identified his awareness of God.
Paul wrote What You Wish For to help other people who are diagnosed with a terminal illness and it certainly has plenty to sustain them and their caregivers throughout their journey. However, he underestimated its value to people who are physically well but sense that something is missing in their lives.
Thanks to my involvement with this book, I know where to start looking.
Rebecca Hayter


Rebecca Hayter grew up in Takaka and is based in Auckland. She has 16 years’ experience in magazine journalism, including 10 years as editor of Boating New Zealand magazine –a role for which she was awarded New Zealand’s MPA Editor of the Year in 2006. She has written two books, both biographies published by HarperCollins: Endless Summer and Oceans Alone.